“He hasn’t called since Monday, I think I am bothered.” Do you think he doesn’t like me anymore, could he be tired of me already, oh snap!” said Kayla. A Canadian friend of mine who is into Black guys.

She’s been seeing this guy for over four months, but recently, he went into hidings. She claims he no longer calls, text or even visit. Could she have done something? Could he be tired of her already? What could be the matter?

However, before this recent behavior of his, she claims he used to be a very caring and amazing guy. He was almost everything she dreamed of.

“He has an amazing body, a great voice, and even a welcoming attitude,” she said. He had given her hope to believe in love again.

Now, she crushes in pain, Kayla can’t seem to place why he doesn’t care anymore. This makes her doubt her taste for love. She even blames herself for opening her heart to him and this could be because she is still into him.

“I can’t deny, I think of him every day, do you think am going crazy. I actually can’t sleep, he is in my head.” She expressed with so much passion.

Anyone could be in this shoe right now, which could make some people question why we crave love? Is it a feeling? A sensation?  Or stimulus? We all want to  love and be loved, isn’t it?

We can’t blame her for craving love, everyone want to feel love. Falling in love is a magical experience that happens between two people. Usually, when we fall in love with someone, we find them attractive and appropriate for us, and in most cases, we tend to fall in love with someone who demonstrates that they are attracted to us.

Love is no doubt one of the greatest feelings in the world, and liking or loving someone who doesn’t love you back is deeply painful. Based on words or actions, you were led to believe that this person had feelings for you. This means that the person might have unintentionally or intentionally led you on.

When we find ourselves in love, the chemicals released by our brains pair with the emotional sensations we experience, then we start to see life in hyper drive. We feel more alive and take in more of the world around us.

On the other hand, some of us tend to fall in love with individuals who might not necessarily love us in return, and then the ones who love us, we don’t love. How crazy can love be?

love can be peaceful, love can be fun, love can urt, love can come in all shades. This brings us back to the case of Kayla. Just when she opened her heart to love, she got hurt.

She could spend days always speaking kindly of him, perhaps to get through life with fewer regrets and find a place in her heart to help her to rebound.

No matter what unexpected situation one may face when love is lost, it takes time for the reality of the situation to seep in. Each person goes through their process of grief in times like this.

Also, there are common reactions you might experience at this point, like denial, anger, fear, self-blame, confusion and many more. However, it is a problem when you get overwhelmed by these reactions.

Nevertheless, in my own opinion, to get pass this stage, you have to find yourself. Build up your strength and self-esteem, most importantly by being kind and compassionate with yourself. Try to keep the experience that brought you pain away from your present. But don’t forget to use them as lesson for the future.

Sincerely, I use these steps when I find myself in situations like this. Experience they say is the best teacher, and I have learnt a lot from it. So, folks, don’t lose yourself because of love.

5 thoughts on “When love becomes pain

  1. Soooo good! I enjoyed reading this! Thank you Mandy <3
    Very good article 😉

  2. Great article! Love can give pain and misery as much as it gives joy and happiness…I believe that one day these painful moments will be a distant memory.

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