Today, I have decided to go a little different with my method of writing as I unveil to you all, the drama behind getting married in a Nigerian home. First, for those of you that don’t know, I am typically a Nigerian girl. I love my country, I love my culture, but sometimes I get really frustrated with our mentality, especially towards marriage.
Well, for most of you born into Nigerian homes and families you might find some of the things am about to discuss very familiar. Nevertheless, I am writing solely based on my own experience, and what I have witnessed from a female Nigerian perspective.
A lot of you will agree with me that it is the joy of every parents to see their child get married. However, marriage is one topic that remains very sensitive to most Nigerian parents. Nevertheless, I will like to say a very big thank you to civilization, if not, things will be worse than they are now.
First, I would like to start by saying education is considered compulsory in almost all Nigerian home. The idea is, after school everything will fall in place including getting married. At this point in your life they don’t want to hear about anything asides class, exams, grades and so on.
From a female Nigerian perspective, the plan is immediately after school you should have a husband to present. Also, don’t forget that you were not allowed to have a boyfriend, lover, etc. but then you must bring a man home to present as a husband to be or else questions will start rolling in.
In fact, even those so called claimed aunties, and uncles that shouldn’t even have anything to say will like to give their own advice or in most cases, their own special therapy session for marriage.
Most of them say stuff like, “my dear, you know time is not on your side, you are not getting any younger, don’t wait till it is too late.” In fact, they even go further to inform you that they got married at an early age, the question is how does that concern me?. I get really disgusted when I hear stuffs like this. Permit me to ask, how do you find a husband if you don’t have a boyfriend or never had one? Do men fall like mangoes or grapes?
Let us move forward, imagine you had a boyfriend in school that you never told your parent about. Now, he has finally placed a ring on that finger, as we all know this means “wedding bells are ringing.”
At this point, personally I won’t even think of the wedding, but how to break this heavy news to my parent. Oh! I didn’t tell you yet, most Nigerian parent are CIA agent and investigation specialist when it comes to picking your life partner. Trust me this can be very annoying.
I will advise anyone who plans to break a happy news like this to calm their nerves because what comes next are questions like; “where is he from, who are his parent, what does he do for a living, does he have a stable job, how much does he earn, does he own a house of his own, what is his religion, does he practice his religions, do you know his friends, or the people he hangs out with, have you met his family before, ” and many more.
Sometimes, some Nigerian parent can be very difficult especially when they don’t accept the religion or culture and so on. Like I said earlier this isn’t new to some of us.
Going further, let’s say they finally accept whoever you have decided to get married to, now the next in line is the marriage rite. Some culture can be so ‘extra’ sometimes, they would want the man to pay and bring heaven and earth to marry a woman. On the other hand, in the case of the woman she must meet criteria. Is this really necessary?
Well, if you can successfully go through all these dramas, then you can start thinking about the wedding in general which happens to be the next step to claiming a wife. Anyways, in my next article, I will be discussing the four major weddings that must be done for a man to properly claim a Nigerian woman as his wife.