Should we be seeking spiritual confirmation before marriage?

So, a twitter user took to twitter to discuss today’s topic. She asked, “Was there any time someone refused to date or marry you because of what their pastor, Alfa or spiritual leader told them about you?”. For sure, a lot of people had so much to say and even stories to share. Below are some screenshots from a comment section of an Instagrammer who also shared the post on his page.


Reading the comments was just overwhelming.

First, I know it is essential that we seek God Guidance when making any decision in life, and that includes marriage. Then again God has blessed us with discernment, especially when making decisions. Hence, do we need a spiritual leader’s confirmation, especially when choosing a life partner? Why can’t we just pray for God’s Guidance, I mean by ourselves? Do you really need your pastor, shirk, or (whoever your spiritual leader might be) to intercede for you? Just like you can see from the screenshots, a lot of people have had crazy experiences.

Personally, I would rather be seeking spiritual confirmation directly from God through prayer than from a spiritual leader. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t mind seeking ‘spiritual advice’ from a religious leader, in my case, that will be my pastor. By faith, I believe they should be able to guide me through my decision and not make the decision for me. In the end, it’s my choice to make, based on the teachings of the word of God, the relationship, my values, and what’s best for me and my future.

Again, I’m not in any way discrediting our spiritual leaders. Instead, I’m here to encourage us to develop the habit of praying regarding any decision we choose to make, instead of always running to spiritual or religious leaders. We all can hear from God. One of the distinct forms of understanding God’s confirmation is associated with peace of mind. Feel free to share other ways if you know.

Well, this is my two cents, kindly share your thoughts and opinions on today’s topic. I’m curious to know your views and opinions.

10 thoughts on “Should we be seeking spiritual confirmation before marriage?”

  1. In my point of view, I need no pastor or spiritual whatever to tell me exactly whom to marry.. There is much to say about most of our Pastors, some of them are reasons for a broken home, broken relationships, brothers against brothers, children against parents, etc. For those depending on their pastor’s for directives will forever remain in bondage…

  2. Spiritual leaders are human and humans can be biased so relying strictly on one person’s opinion when making important life decisions is a potential risk. No one wants to live with regrets and missing out on an amazing person because a human said so would be a painful loss.

    1. exactly, they may be having a bad day, judge your partner based on first impression or the fact that they have a tattoo or unconventional hair style lol

  3. If one feels they have a good spiritual relationship with God, then they do not need any other individuals’ input into their relationships, but having a mentor or mentors who have gone through what you are going to experience would never be negative. The key is finding a figure who would not be biased towards looks, family, wealth or culture. People need to realize there are people on this earth, no matter how long you’ve known them or they have known you, that do not want what’s best for you or unknowingly will misguide you. That “instinct” you have I believe is God telling you what it is. If there is anything you are unsure about, ask him and communicate with your potential spouse. If you are not sure whether to marry someone then don’t. You cannot blame anyone for a missed opportunity or an unhappy marriage because you make that final choice.

  4. U are seeking spiritual confirmation from God nt from your pastor; pray to God; then God can use ur pastor or send a message thru ur pastor to u; it seems this pple wanted the pastor to pray on their behalf, which isnt right; they r human and can be biased.

  5. Wow, interesting piece! so many factors to consider when deciding who to spend the rest of your life with. In the end we have to make the decision not the spiritual leader. Your spiritual leader will not be with you every step of the way during the course of the marriage. Consulting a spiritual leader is recommended because you could benefit from resources like couples counselling and so on, but the most important thing is to know what GOD wants for you. A strong relationship with God will help us discern truth from lies.

  6. Personally I’m not very religious so I’m very skeptical when it comes to religious/spiritual leaders. But I guess it isn’t a bad thing asking your spiritual leader about his or her opinion when you’re about to make a decision about someone you’re about to spend the rest of your life with, but there are factors you need to consider. Some being: are they someone you can really depend on and trust? And are they actually giving you advice or are they basically trying to make the decision for you? Because I see nothing wrong with them giving their input but for them to be like “don’t marry this person because I said so” is a no no, and it would just be better to ask God for guidance and trust that whatever decision you end up making would be the right one and God’s plan for you.

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