Let’s talk Relationship Green Flags!

*Written by Ini Akpan*

So last week, Mandy shared some possible red flags to look out for in relationships. Though they are essential, I will be sharing green flags to look out for in relationships as a “Soft Life Ambassador”.

We spend so much time and energy talking about the relationship red flags, but what about the green flags. Positive signs showing that someone genuinely cares about you? I feel life is already hard enough that your relationship should be one of the happiest and safest place. So, if a person actively and consistently shows you they want to be with you, we should allow ourselves to embrace the happiness that comes with it. We deserve to be happy.

Here are a few promising signs to look out for:

  1. Intentionality: First and foremost, awareness is critical. Everyone likes to be loved differently, so knowing your partner’s love language is the best way to love with intent. You don’t have to wait for celebratory events like birthdays, anniversaries, but also in small daily acts. We should constantly evaluate the impact a person’s presence has on our lives.
  2. Communication: They communicate clearly and honestly. We already play guessing games so much in life, e.g. school, behavioural tests, interviews, etc. So, having to do that with your partner would be exhausting. Like my Yoruba people say, “Soro Soke”, meaning speak up and be honest.
  3. Consistency: Their words and behaviours align. Everyone wants someone that will always show up for them, and that’s easy to do with words, but if your partner can keep that same energy with actions, that’s a green flag right there.
  4. Respect: They make you feel seen, heard and appreciated. It also applies to conflict resolution.
  5. Acceptance & Support: You can be your authentic self, and they are your biggest cheerleader. It’s normal to present the best version of yourself to a person you like. However, acceptance begins when both parties can relax, unapologetically be themselves and still feel as wanted as they did without the glitz and glam. Your partner should also be able to celebrate your growth and wins like it’s theirs. Healthy competition is always welcome because you’re able to push each other to be the best version of yourself.
  6. Ride & Die. LOL! I can already hear my friends laughing because I’ve always said I’m not a ride & die kind of person. After all, Jesus already died for me but, hear me out. We all know what the riding part means, but my definition summarises all the points mentioned earlier for the dying part. For lack of better words, I feel everyone should have a partner that wants to “die on top of their matter” (Alexa play “On top your matter” by Wizkid). In essence, this is feeling loved loudly; it’s all you hear; being loved so deeply, it’s all you feel; being loved so clearly, it’s all you see.

Okay, I am signing out now. Like Mandy would say, feel free to share your thoughts, opinions and comments below. Have a great day

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