Everyone prays for the right person, his or her Mr. or Mrs. Right. However, we fail to ask ourselves if we are worth being the right person for someone. Are you worth being someone’s Mr. or Mrs. right?
Have you ever thought about the fact that finding the right person may not necessarily change you into a better person than you already are? If you are lazy and self-centred, finding a generous hard working fellow may not transform you to become hardworking too. If you are boring and a one-dimensional person, finding an intellectually challenging person might not change who you are. Have you ever thought about this, or do you have a counter argument?
On the other hand, I would like you to keep in mind that everyone; I mean you and I are a work in progress, take it or leave it. As humans we have flaws, we make mistakes, sometimes even worse rational decision, but that doesn’t make you and I less of a person, instead it defines our imperfect human nature.
The same thing implies for Mr. Right or Mrs. Right, he or she is not perfect. They might not reach our expectation all the time and that doesn’t make him or her less of the right person.
I believe ‘finding the right one’ mindset is an increasingly counter-cultural idea that can be helpful to all of us to some degree. Nonetheless, the other problem with this mindset is that it is ultimately self-centered, in regards to love generally and marriage or relationship specifically. John Paul II described marriage as a ‘total gift of self.’ Whether we are single, dating, engaged or married, if we approach our spouse (or potential spouse) or partner, with a mindset of judging whether this person is the right person for me, we become a ‘critical consumer’ rather than a ‘giver of self.’
What I am trying to say is most of us are living a life full of imaginary expectations of what the right person will and should be. We expect so much, and we fail to recognize that the person is human and has flaws, hence he or she is prone to mistakes. I am not saying that you should settle for less, not at all. Rather, I want you to see things from this perspective, a relationship is about imperfect beings coming together to complement each other.
Sam keen once said, “you come to love not by finding the perfect person but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.” How would you interpret this statement? Like I stated earlier, in a relationship we are partners, we should complement each other. Therefore we work as a team, to support each other’s flaws and to help each other grow in every ramification of life.
A friend shared a post in relations to this two days ago, and it made me think critically. So I thought to share this with you today. Are your expectations of the right person practically imaginary? Are you even worth being the right person for someone considering your flaws as a person?
I know we aim for the best, but are you good enough for the best?
I would like you to think about this critically. Don’t forget to share your thoughts and opinions. Have a blessed weekend.