Complexity of the idea of marriage

What is marriage? Why do people get married? What create that communion or union? How do you find your partner?  These are obvious question that might have crossed your minds, I presume.  Sometimes I wonder how do some parent stay married for so long without divorce. What keeps them going despite their misunderstandings.

Some further ask, how can I find the right one?  who could that be? Where could he or she be? How are we going to meet? What will life look like for us? How do we find our strength when love is almost lost?

Marriage, marriage, marriage, very complicated topic, yet it’s so beautiful to see a couple get married. Imagine a bride with her awesome dress, and her amazing veil walking down the aisle.

The beauty of womanhood, the pride of her parent, the joy of the man she’s about call a husband bakes her beauty. She is the center of attraction for the occasion, with so much elegance.

She walks majestically to the man she dreams to spend the rest of her life with, the man she desires and vows to love for better and for worst, in wealth and in poverty till death do them part.

Imagine the groom, and what goes through his mind as the woman of his dream walk towards him. How sweet, dreams becoming reality.  At this moment, he believes he has found the bone of his bone and the flesh of his flesh. How amazing can love be for them at that point in time, even to those of us who desires love and for those who have come to share in that joy.

How astonishing can you picture this moment to be? As beautiful as that day may look, as perfect as they are, as emotional as the moment can be, reality await them.

What happens after the wedding day? What is life like for them?  How do they live? What will you imagine these to be like?

Take your parent to be an example, look through the lives of the people around you, take from your experiences in relationships and simply define the future of a marriage after the honeymoon stage.

Is it filled with so much love and harmony? Will there be changes? Will the unexpected be seen? What will happen? I don’t want to imagine that it remains all rosy after the wedding.

Though marriage is meant to be a lifelong institution, some couples still get divorced. Could it be changes, pain, misunderstandings, irreconcilable differences, what could it be?

Even in the presence of these, some have made theirs work, how did they do it.?  Was it through endurance, patience, love, trust. How did they make it work?

I was recently talking to a friend of mine who’s been married for two years. Listening to her talk, made me realize that marriage is complex, even way more than I have imagined it to be.  This made me wonder if I could be affected by these changes that might occur with time.  Can I handle things? how do I make things work when things seem rough?

She further expressed that she had imagined marriage to be filled with love and happiness everyday, however that wasn’t it at all. “I have grown in marriage to see another side of life I never expected I would see any time soon” she said.

Her words came true and sincere. She was talking based from her experience which made me go cold and even more scared. Then she held my hands and said to me, “you are yet to experience a lot my dear”

Boom!!! That cracked my head, I felt like my skull spanned three sixty. Slowly I could feel my fears knocking. Trust me, I was in a dilemma.

However, I wouldn’t want to lose hope because of my fears neither should you. One thing we could keep in mind is, life is in stages, when the time comes for us to cross that bridge, we will. For those of us not married, we have no personal experiences about marriage, rather we have ideas of what it could be like.

The game is open to all of us, how would you play yours? What would you assume your marriage to be like? How would you handle those crazy moment? How would you make things work?


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