Anger is a strong feeling of displeasure or annoyance. It is entirely reasonable for us, humans to get angry. It is a natural emotion that exists in everyone. However, it becomes a problem when it takes over your personality, your action or in most cases when it defines your persona. That was my case.
Growing up as a child, controlling my anger was a major problem for me, in other words, it described my alter ego. Do not get shocked, that was what it was. The angry me was never pleasing; it was quite rude. It was horrible!
In most cases, mine was because of stress, frustration, and criticism. The fact is, this is normal as everyone goes through this phases on occasions, but the inability to handle and control my anger made it wrong. I was sometimes unreasonable or irrational, looking back it wasn’t worth it.
Okay, let me stress again, I was not brutal, but I was rude. I offended quite a few people, and it took time for me to realize that most of the things I said did hurt people. The reality is, you cannot take back what you say, therefore being mindful of what you say to people is essential especially when you are angry. I did not understand that then, until four years ago.
Anger is an emotion you must control before it controls you. Nevertheless, it is essential for you to know that anger can be a healthy emotion, but it becomes unhealthy when it flares up all the time or spirals out of control, or in most cases affect your actions towards people.
Learning how to handle anger is vital. I started by realizing that it was normal to get angry but I had to be mindful of what I say when I get angry because I knew that was one of my struggles. So, recognizing your major effort with anger is necessary. Also, I learned not to respond in the heat of the moment so that I don’t end up regretting anything later. Most times I rather politely walk away for a bit, because being rude or walking off rudely will only trigger more issues.
Take time to cool off; then you can have a peaceful dialogue to resolve issues.
It is not as easy as it seems, trust me I struggled so much. In fact, I am a work in progress, but I know I have been able to work on my anger issues. According to Mark Twain “anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”
Kindly share your experiences. If you have been able to work on it, how did you do it? Let us help one another, because this thing called ‘anger’ can be deadly and can kill.